Have you heard the song Keep Making Me by Sidewalk Prophets? If not, here are a few of the lyrics so you may follow along:
Make me broken, so I can be healed...
Make me empty, so I can be filled...
Make me lonely, so I can be Yours...
'Til You are my one desire
'Til You are my one true love,
'Til You are my breath, my everything
Lord, please keep making me.
This thought keeps coming to me like a fly to poop - "make me broken, so I can be healed.." In fact, I'd say its been recurring daily for many, many months. But, what does it mean? How can you break something to fix it? And why would you want to?
We all need "fixed" in some way. We spend so much time blurting out our problems to the first person that will listen. Or we drive to the nearest bookstore, spend money that we don't have on self-help books only for them to sit on our bookshelf and provide a place for dust to land. Really? Is that actually accomplishing anything? The answer is likely, NO.
We all, myself included, have favorite foods, favorite hobbies, best friends. And we spend much of our time planning and scheduling our life around these things and others. But are they really fulfilling? Do they make us feel complete and whole? Some may say yes to this one. But think again... Im not talking about 'fulfilled' as in scrubbing the surface of your boredom or your current situation. Im referring to that life purpose. The meaning behind your reason for being. That deep down, whole-hearted thirst. The honest answer is likely, NO.
Because friends, money, books, food, etc. are idols. They are just things that take up time, albeit fill an empty space. They are temporary. Bandages that just cover a wound that can't heal with these alone.
Lately I have realized that I spend a lot of time thinking about the next big thing, the next purchase, the next place I want to visit, the next, the next, the next. But then this thought appears, like that fly on that poop. SPLAT! "make me broken, so I can be healed..." And oddly, it comforts me. It reminds me that I don't need to worry about "the next..." anything. God has that taken care of for me, as long as I remember to take my focus off of those "nexts" and return my focus to Him.
Who wants to be broken, empty and lonely? I mean, it doesn't necessarily sound exciting. In fact, it kinda reminds me of this lonely tree... sigh... (stop...take a minute to pity the tree, pity yourself, pity your friends, pity your neighbors, pity your dog, pity your friend's dog...sigh again... ok, now move on. Keep reading)
But if we were that tree - lonely and broken - where would our attention be? Right. We tend to draw closer to God in moments like those. What a way to build a relationship! Get knocked down and be at His mercy -- then let him form you into the person He meant for you to be, now that you are FINALLY listening. I can say, after much thought, I know that I would be ok - even better - if I was broken, empty and lonely.
I don't know that this makes sense to everyone - I think it will when you stumble across that place in life, as I have. But, its a good reminder that even when we are at our lowest, we can be directed to a new path that will take us to our highest. Just pay attention. And give thanks. Every. Single. Day.