Showing posts from June, 2015


Sometimes I go to bed at night and I see short clips of my life, like flashing visions in an an old 35mm movie. If I am lucky, I get the good times. But every now and then, when I least expect it, the fear hits hard - the fear of another time that I have tried so hard to forget. 
I see those eyes that, in a dream once, appeared red, as if someone was giving me a warning that I was dealing with the devil. And that smirk, full of crookedness and anger. I try to close my eyes to erase these images, but they are there, burned in memories I wish I could forget.  

This time I am walking through the house, carrying in bags of groceries from my car. My thoughts begin racing -  I followed the list, didnt I? I dont think I forgot anything. I hope I got everything right this time.  The same thoughts I always have when coming home from grocery shopping. As I hurry to unload the bags and get the items where they belong, I hear, "did you get the sour cream? I dont see it. " Oh no. Shoot. Ho…

Screaming thoughts.

I have been working on getting my mind under control this past week or so. Not sure of the reason, but trying to lasso my thoughts is making me look like an amateur cowgirl...My mind is not finishing one thought before it moves on to another! I know that I need to BE STILL in order to re-focus myself and I am working on this. However, in the midst of these thoughts, I have one that is like a sign outlined in flashing bright lights smack dab in the middle of the Las Vegas strip. It reads:  "THE PAST."

The past I am referring to is the things I have previously done -- behaviors, harsh words, choices I have made -- that I cannot undo. I generally have no regrets, as I know that my past has molded me into the person that I am today. I see clearly the lessons I was supposed to learn. And, although looking back I do not like the person that I was, I love the person I am today. I'm still a work-in-progress, of course, but hey... I've got some darn good characteristics, in my…

All ya need is love

Guess what? I am not perfect. Guess what else? You are not perfect either. Yea, that is right. I called you imperfect. You have flaws. And so do I. Matthew 7:3-5 reminds us that we shouldn't be quick to judge others for their faults without addressing our own. "And why worry about a speck in your friend's eye when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying to your friend, 'Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,' when you cant see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First get rid of log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend's eye." - Matthew 7:3-5 But we don't always follow this lesson, do we?

We all know that its easy to focus on the dents, holes, disfigurements, wrong way paths of everyone else so I am not going to sit here and bore you with how I think you should go back and read, re-read, re-cite, remember, re-read again, and tape the above verse from Matthew to your forehe…

Too short

Have you ever met someone that you just knew you were supposed to meet? Have you felt a connection to that person that goes beyond just a normal friendship? Now, let me clarify. I am not referring to a sort of “love” connection or anything at all of that sort. I’m referring to someone who may be your friend, co-worker, or acquaintance that you just never have to speak to but when you do, you just feel a sense that the extent of your acquaintance to this person goes beyond what you feel with other friends. You can actually sense the reason you are supposed to have met. 
I have a friend like this. Someone I met about 3 years ago. She started as a co-worker who eventually became my friend. She and I didn’t see each other outside of work much, but we talked, shared, and comforted one another. About 18 months ago her dad got sick. He was in and out of the hospital and required several different medical procedures. During this whole process, I watched her highs and lows. I watched her reacti…

Start a chain reaction

I know there is something somewhere that says that when we do a good deed, we are not supposed to brag about it. Its not meant to be a show or an act. And we definitely aren’t supposed to make sure others know what we have done…. We just do it. Its all about taking care of someone who has greater needs than oneself. Complete selflessness, based solely on the actions of her heart, not pride. I love catching these moments as they happen.
For the record, this is found in Matthew 6:1 " Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven."
I'm blessed enough to spend my life with someone who does this - often - without a second thought. It is my constant reminder that I need to care less about myself and more about others. Especially those with greater needs than I... Or who need a reason to smile. Big or small.

I remember learning about "Random Acts of Kindness" while I was…