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Screaming thoughts.

I have been working on getting my mind under control this past week or so. Not sure of the reason, but trying to lasso my thoughts is making me look like an amateur cowgirl...My mind is not finishing one thought before it moves on to another! I know that I need to BE STILL in order to re-focus myself and I am working on this. However, in the midst of these thoughts, I have one that is like a sign outlined in flashing bright lights smack dab in the middle of the Las Vegas strip. It reads:  "THE PAST."

The past I am referring to is the things I have previously done -- behaviors, harsh words, choices I have made -- that I cannot undo. I generally have no regrets, as I know that my past has molded me into the person that I am today. I see clearly the lessons I was supposed to learn. And, although looking back I do not like the person that I was, I love the person I am today. I'm still a work-in-progress, of course, but hey... I've got some darn good characteristics, in my opinion!

Now, as usually happens... everything I read lately (or hear or converse about) is focused on the past. In fact, I started this post last night. Yet, just this morning, I heard a radio program that said.. "QUIT STALKING YOUR PAST!" Talk about wow...  Who would have ever thought to put it that way? Perhaps using this as a mantra will help my lassoing skills? 

It went on to say that you will no longer fit in with the person you used to be, the friends you had and the activities you did. This is what happens as you grow in faith and is so incredibly true - Not just because of differences in opinion between friends and I when it comes to beliefs, but because the manner in which I choose to carry myself and my behaviors may no longer coincide with theirs. The common ground gets bumpy and the relationships can crumble. And deep down I know that, in order to grow, its ok if this happens.  

God has the ability to cut you out, so to speak, and remove you from the picture of your current situation in order for you to mature in your faith. That is what He did for me.

Today my life is full of faith, love, life, commitment & strength. Five key feelings that had taken the high road in my past... as I chose the dimly-lit, dark road. Looking at my calendar, it says "We can't undo the past..." but "God loves you , and even when life is dark and uncertain, that truth will bring you encouragement and strength." I didn't know that while living in my past, but I do know it now. And I know that should I ever find myself in difficult, dark situations again, I will know that I have light within me to see me through. 

"Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up." - James 4:10 


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