Do you ever have cravings? Sure ya do. Some people crave alone time, some people crave thrills and adrenaline rushes, and yet others crave ice cream. Do you ever crave God? I do. To be honest, I have been craving Him quite a bit lately.
We go about our lives - the hustle and bustle that it brings. We have work, family, miscellaneous daily teenage crises that need tended to, we have traffic delays, dinner to cook, bills to pay. And when it comes time to go to bed at night... I am completely spent. I mean, some nights I don't even remember closing my eyes.
Then, as I wake up the next morning and begin to start the routine all over (thinking Groundhog Day here)... I just feel like something is missing. Again and again. I have felt this way for a couple months and, if I am going to be completely honest, it has taken me a little while to place my finger on exactly what it is.
GOD = my missing piece
Do I really spend my life running around doing all of these menial things when I forget to spend time with the one who put me here in the first place? I guess I do.
In my defense, haha, once I came to this realization, I had a long talk with Him. More like a ramble, but hey... at least I was present for my meeting. The best thing happened afterwards, too -- I immediately started feeling the warmth and calm He gives!! It was also during this time that I realized its not just the missing connection with God, but also my church, that I have been missing.
See, on my journey, I have learned that the way I have grown on my path is drastically different from the friends that I have. My partner and I have talked about this many times... we feel like no one can really relate to us anymore. In all fairness, we cannot relate to them, either. It is as if our faith and our beliefs have turned us into odd ducks. Or beautiful swans. However you want to look at it. Either way, we stand apart from almost everyone we know.
But then, last night, I walk into a home full of people from my church. The love that bounces off of these folks is tremendous. They hadn't even seen me in a couple of months and I felt like no time at all had passed. The hugs, the smiles, the laughs, the support. It was all the same. I had forgotten how much joy and love I feel when surrounded by them. I've missed them, too.
So all of this lead me to ask myself... When life gets rough and busy, why do I hide from the very people that make me feel the most peace? Why do I let myself get pulled into any other direction other then where I want to be? Why do I always have such a hard time keeping God first in my life? And, why oh why, God, must I ask myself so many questions?!?!
In all your ways acknowledge Him, and he will make straight your paths. ~ Proverbs 3:6
Anyways, I am glad to have re-discovered the elixir that will quench my cravings. I want to really work toward keeping God first in my life and let all of my other daily tasks follow as runners-up... especially when life gets difficult. I am putting this out there in case there is a small chance it will work for accountability. Thank you! And.. I love you all!